I do believe that men get bashed way more then women and the reason for that is because we hold a lot of expectations of ourselves which sometimes hurt us. Most men including myself wants to accomplish things in life to become a strong successful man and it end up hurting majority of us in the long run. Being born a black male you have already labeled yourself as being bashed by the media and I personally think many young black males feed into what the media says. For example, Tiger Woods was one of the richest golfers in the world. After finding out he cheated on his wife the media blew things up way out of proportion to the point where everyone got tired of turning to ESPN. The point i was trying to prove is that no matter what people will talk bad about you (bash) until you prove them wrong and become successful.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Black Male Bashing
I do believe that men get bashed way more then women and the reason for that is because we hold a lot of expectations of ourselves which sometimes hurt us. Most men including myself wants to accomplish things in life to become a strong successful man and it end up hurting majority of us in the long run. Being born a black male you have already labeled yourself as being bashed by the media and I personally think many young black males feed into what the media says. For example, Tiger Woods was one of the richest golfers in the world. After finding out he cheated on his wife the media blew things up way out of proportion to the point where everyone got tired of turning to ESPN. The point i was trying to prove is that no matter what people will talk bad about you (bash) until you prove them wrong and become successful.
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Stephen Yanes
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to men and women, not just black men and women, it seems there is this double standard. There are things that a member of a given sex can get away with that would seem to be absolutely unacceptable if a member of the opposite sex were to do. Men can be sexually promiscuous and it is seen as being that much of a better man, but when a woman is promiscuous they are seen as whores. When did this double standard start, and why does it continue today? Im not so sure myself, but I have a feeling media has always had a role in determining what to expect from certain types of people. That media includes novels, books, radio, television, and the internet. Just because one person does something means that all people of that race or gender should be subject to the same persecution.
La'Kendra Curry
ReplyDeletePersonally, I do feel as though the media portrays men in a negative image, but I have no sympathy because they do the same to women only ten times worse. Does the media male bash? Yes. Does the media exploit women? Yes. There’s simply no avoiding it, but at the same time the media has to get these negative images from somewhere, so some of the things that the media portrays aren’t so farfetched. For example, movies like Baby Boy wouldn’t be considered such a “classic” if there weren’t so many people who have either been in one of the many situations that the movie addressed or at least knows someone who’s in or has been in one of those situations. I honestly feel as though the media only offends people who it is exposing. Therefore, if you aren’t a sorry excuse for a man then movies such as Waiting to Exhale wouldn’t offend you and likewise for women.
DeShanta Wade
ReplyDeleteI truly do not believe that it has something to do with the women being independent or that she is so far up her butt that she thinks that the men she date in unmarriageable. I think it is just a mind thing where the females in any community is finally getting some of the same attention as men or more and they have lead themselves to believe that in some way are another that they are better. True in most movies the man is a dog where as the women either sits there and plays her role as a wife/girlfriend and not say anything; or gets even. Every women never wanted to be that person who would sit down and not say anything even though she knows her spouse is out there doing God knows what with God knows who. They would applaud any woman who would take all clothes that belong to their man and put it in his car and set in on fire in the middle of the driveway. But as soon as a man does something like that, it’s a crime and that shouldn’t be the way to go. Now in society you would not see many men in their children lives, and it shows that it is hard being a single mother , when females hear someone telling the guy off the quickly stand to the feet yelling and screaming, “Ya, damn right, start taking care of the kids you help produce.” But as soon as that same person turn around and says something that the mother should do and should have done from the beginning all the females get quiet. What’s up with that? Not saying that everything a man does wrong shouldn’t go without recognition, because they should be put out as well, but I’m also saying that women should just shut the freak up about what a man should and should not do because you are not a man and therefore you don’t know how to be a man. Especially these female who grow up without a father, you know good and well that you don’t know spit about how a man should act because yours wasn’t there to start with. So my answer to your question is no. Male bashing is not a result of growing women independent or is it the result of unmarriageable men, but it is merely the fact that women don’t know what they want and feel the need to fabricate something that will never happen in this life or the next. That’s why male bashing is even around; they want something they can’t have.
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ReplyDeletelaquita powell
ReplyDeletemen do not get bashed as much as woman get disrespected but just like there is some woman who is to blame for the way woman get looked at there is men who is the exact stereotype of what woman think.many african american men are not in their children life and who is to blame?them?the mother?...i personally feel as though a lot of bashing comes from truth and is just looked at as bashing becuase some men do get looked at as being bad and they may not be but is it wrong for a woman to have seen so many bad and typical men that she begins to bash them? and for men to feel as though oh she bashing me because she got her own money and car and stuffand really dont need me so she not going to respect me as a man beacause she doesnt "need me".
Hannah Bryan
ReplyDeleteI have definitely seen this male-bashing in books such as Uncle Tom's Cabin. All the male characters, excluding Tom himself, were negative characters who dragged the women down. The same can be said for many of the characters in course texts. I think there is a stereotypical dynamic present between men and women in books and films. If one is weak, the other is strong. One drags people down; the other holds people up.
In the situation of the "damsel in distress," the woman is weak and causes others (in the form of rescuers) to lose their lives for the cause of saving her life. One male in particular, who is strong, will come and rescue her. He is usually capable of great feats and works. He holds everything together.
In the other situation, the woman is strong and the man holds her down. This probably suggests that there are inherent differences between men and women. Perhaps all these stories use the fact that men and women are physical opposites and plays that into the over-arching story.
Hallie Bowns
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to male bashing, in my opinion, i thyink men deserve it- most of thye time. They give us reasons to. They cheat, lie, steal, deprive women of their mental sanity and why? So when women do the same, we are condemned. Why? Most womaen have a reason to bash men, they bash us. If they didn't deserve it or carry the history of wrong doings then we might actually lower our standards and give them a shot. Men often times eed to prove themselves in a way that shows women that the bashing is not deserved, Maybe then we can have some confidence in our American men and give them a better shot. Independant women are not the cause of men that are not compatable. Each woman is her own self with her own standards and her own needs. If I'm going to be the independant woman that I want to be, than I need a man who will repect that and let me do my own thing while he does his while still being faithful and still there for each other. Independance with a mutual ground point forms a source of freedom but also togetherness. As far as double standards go, they are everywhere and are never ending. Double standards are just something we need to deal with and maybe compromise with. Men and women are not both going to get exactly what they want and how they want it. There has to be some kind of give and take in repsect to each other's needs. +
Adrianne Carter
ReplyDeleteHonestly there are a variety of different flavors when it comes to black men. I have come not to expect anything in particular from them just because they are a certain color. Some women are fault free, however if we are talking about the women in waiting to exhale, they most definately are not. One woman openly admitted that she didnt move when she was having sex with her husband. How is he suopposed to put up with that? In reality i feel as though men are treated more leniently when it comed to infedelity in a relationship or permiscuity in life, so this book is kind of taking the opposite stance on these issues, and that is why I would think that such issues would be considered a learning experience for women and not men in these books, as a sort of role reversal.
Melissa Dutra
ReplyDeleteAs far as male bashing is concerned, I don't think its a big issue as women are bashed way more than men. Because of the double standard in society, women have to be "virtuous", care givers, financially secure, submissive, motherly, a good wife and much more in today's society. There is so much demanded from women and when we do not conform to society's standards, we are objects of strong criticism. The notions that men can sleep around, don't need to fullfill the roles of both father and bread-winner are existent in society. Men can get away with more than women. The notion that, "Oh, he pays child support" or "He paid the bills", are enough to say, he was a good father. What about being an emotional parent to the children? What about making yourself emotionally open and having a relationship with your children? Women today are more often, mother and father to their children. Also, not only are they filling these two roles they are working to provide financial security to the family. So much is expected of women, and I'm left asking, "How much do we really need men?" It sounds messed up, but just stating a point.But then again, I'm being unfair to men....we do need them. We can't just be alone. God created Adam and Eve for a reason. Also, a man that was financially there for his children is better than a man that just left them and did not do a thing for them. Society demands a certain kind of non-emotionabilty from men, so they are raised to not express their emotions. So...I'm left without a substantial position on male bashing, but that....life goes on...
Clive Hall
ReplyDeleteI think that with responsibility comes high expectations. Men create the double standards for themselves. They want to be the bread winner, the head of the household, the "leader of the pack", but do not want to take the consequences that come when they fail to meet those qualifications. I think that there is a double standard present when it comes to the expectations of men and women, but there are faults on both end of the spectrum. Nothing and no one is perfect, so either way someone is going to get the short end of the stick. I do however agree that sometimes there is too much expected from men and they do have a heavy burden on their shoulders, but I will say that I don't think that women have it any easier themselves.
Laura Turner
ReplyDeleteI feel like there are definitely negative stereotypes for black males, just as there are stereotypes for every group of individuals. The most common stereotypes that I have encountered for the black male is that they are lazy, horny, arrogant, and untrustworthy. However, just like all stereotypes, these attributes are not the norm. The problem lies in the fact that people actually believe this slander and react accordingly towards the black male population. This makes it difficult for women to enter into a lasting relationship with a man because of the subconscious doubts and fears that societies beliefs have planted. This situation can be seen in the book we recently read, Praisesong for the Widow. Beginning on page 106, Avey fights with her guiltless husband who has been working overtime to support her and their babies. She, for no other reason than an underlying fear and feeling of discontent, compares him to the other male figures on their impoverished street and this proves to be a turning point which changes their relationship forever.
I think it is a ridiculous concept to classify anyone as fault free. Of course no one is guiltless. Relationships are mutual, both people are partners and must claim responsibility for their choices and actions. So no, the men are not totally to blame for everything, but at the same I don’t think the women are either. As with the book we are now discussing, Waiting to Exhale, the men are in fact conniving. Sure, the women are at fault as well, but not as much as the men are in these few circumstances. And male bashing is no phenomena that occurs just because women are more independent or have changed their expectations, but because some people love to be negative towards one another. Male bashing, female bashing, derogatory talk in general…it can be seen everywhere unfortunately.
For years black men have always been portrayed as egotistical, athletic, uneducated, baby-making, unaccountable entity. In the media black man are consistently being bashed but there is truth behind the madness. It is not as though black men are innocent beings that have to hear about the “sista” or the “angry black women” beckon to the heavens about what they aren’t doing right. There are plenty of books that have been published that bash men. The bashing of men is generation because it starts at home. In the Sisters of the Yams bell hooks provides us with a great example when she says that black little girls are taught early on that black men are no good dogs just as black boys are taught that women have issues and problems.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the double standard is concern, I feel that it dates back to history because women were supposed to be a Florence Nightangle type of women. They were to be pure, angelic, and non-sexual beings. If a women is seen having multiple partners she is a derogatory term yet her male counterparts get praised for it. Just as if a man lived his mother he would be considered a scrub but if a female lived with her mother people would see that as “cute”.
Abigail Remillard.
ReplyDeleteMany groups in society get picked on or "bashed" and in this instance black males are the viticms right now. In satistics, it shows that more woman are attending college than men, in all races. I think that this plays a huge role on the idea(s) that go into what kind of relationship you personally want to have and what you seek out. Male bashing isn't carried out a whole lot in everyday communities as it is on the TV's and in books(in my personal opinion). I just feel that the bar for relationships are rising and men are not hitting the new set standard, this of course is theire fault and cannot complain when women go to talk about it. The few catches that are mangaged should be cheerished and guarded.
Cameron Leonard
ReplyDeleteI do believe that men get bashed more just look at the news in almost every facet I can't see where women are bashed. I mean yes men do do women wrong and if they feel they can hurt someone then they should expect the worst when they get caught. And that's for both men and women. Men traditionally are sen as the dominant figure so when men do something wrong everyone looks at them wrong say there no good and women are supported and told they can o better or what have you. But when the shoe is on the other foot women are swept under the rug when clearly they are the ones who have caused the issue. There are some no good women out there just as much as guys so I think it should be equal bashing but I know that will never happen.
Women are degraded, men are bashed - it's part of our cultures. How these aspects of our culture got started is a mystery to me, but the media has indeed played a major role (a cologne has women falling at mens' feet, provocative women are often a centerpiece for advertisements). Is anyone really fault-free when a women gets duped by a man? No. I think it was the lady in red in "For Colored Girls" to whom the "no assistance" poem belonged. Quite obviously he was not worth her time from the very beginning and she still sent him cards, and plants, and watered the one at the end, when she could have stopped. It's almost as though she wanted to feel pain in a sickening way. It's not just black men who "dupe" black women, it's in almost all cultures. At the same time, depending on a woman's standards, no guy will ever be good enough. In Mexico we have two societies: the poor and the rich. Poor women who marry poor men have high standards in the quality of the relationship (Does he love me? Does he take care of my health? Is he fun to be around? Do we have despite the lack of financial stability? Do I feel safe with him?) while rich women who marry rich men have high standards with materialistic items (Is he educated? Does he have a house? A car? Does he own a business? High high up is he where he works? Will I be financially safe with him?).
ReplyDeleteLike with most of our discussions, the situation really depends on the people involved.
Kandis Hankerson
ReplyDeleteFrom an African American man, I expect them to walk around proudly with their heads held high. No cockiness though and because I still expect them to respect people, though I hate that men are allowed to get away with certain things, that women are said that they cannot due. If a man goes out and has sex with a lot of girls, he is a “MAN,” though if a women does it she is a ho. It is just not right! When it comes to the media I feel bad for the black man though because they are viewed upon as thugs that do not care about women. Though not all men act like that. Today though many women are starting to act like men because now many of them feel that they can do what a man does and still be considered a woman. Just like in the movie two can play that game. I guess you can say it is just a dog eat dog world.
Jerold Blount
ReplyDeleteOf course some women's expectations of men are much too high. I think it's safe to say that more times than not, women's expectations are unrealistic. Yea, everybody would love to find that "perfect" person to spend the rest of their life with...and maybe that's the difference and the problem right there. I think the majority of those women with unrealistic expectations are too dead set on finding someone to spend the rest of their life with, instead of just trying to find someone whose company they genuinely enjoy. Trying to find that guy with the good job, the good looks, the good company, the good conversation, the good car, the good house, the good family, the good history, no kids, got a degree, good clothes, good teeth, good sex, good everythang....they more than likely will start to feel like everyone they meet is a scrub because nobody is going to live up to those expectations. It's good to set high standards, but we also have to be realistic. Because, even if she does find that man...there's probably something good n terrible about him that she didn't add to her list of expectations...
craaazy.....derraaaanged....
come on now....
Vanessa White
ReplyDeleteLike said in class earlier the reproachable actions of women in novels are considered learning experiences whereas with m ale characters it comes off as irredeemable because most of the novels we’ve read in class the woman is seen as the protagonist. The audience reading the novels usually always side with the protagonist and not the antagonist which are usually the African American males. Also we live in a double standard society. If a female slept with as many men as she wanted to, she would be seen as a slut. When males do this they get high fives and pats on the back congratulating them. In our eyes as women of course we see this type of behavior as them being a dog or a player. When it comes to African American males and the stereotypes we see, our subconscious mind already view most of them in a negative light unless were proved otherwise. One reason that this happens is because of the media. The media plays a huge role in how we view the world and if the media portrays the black male in a negative light that’s how most of the world will see hi which is very sad to say ( there are those good black males out there). I don’t agree that male bashing is the result of growing women independence, but it could perhaps play a role.
Jasmin Faust
ReplyDeleteI think society plays a major role in how we accept certain situation and expectations of both women and men. I do agree that men are bashed more than women but I think because society makes it that way. Like we discussed in class earlier if a women slept with a lot of men she would be looked down upon but if it were the other way around it would be different because we expect men to be low down dogs. Is that right? No, of course not but thats just life. I think the idea of there being so many independent women has a lot to do with the past of a women. Most women put up this independent I dont need a man wall to protect them from previous relationships that didn't turn out so good. No one wants to keep getting hurt. I believe there are so many unmarried men because unlike women men aren't ready to settle down as early with ONE person, no one is going to be waiting around forever for a man to get his act together. I'm sure as hell not gone do it. So I'd rather be single independent and man less, then with a man going through hell every night.
Laquinnesha Thompson
ReplyDeleteMale Basing is definitely one of those problems without a clear definition and its something that done without realization. Its always easy to point fingers and if the situation boils down to a woman and a man, then more than likely, its almost certain than society will take the side of the woman. We live in a society where double standards are a way of life and at the end of the day there are certain thinkg socially acceptable by men and women. When a man leaves his wife for a white woman in Bernadines case(Waiting to Exhale), it is seen as disgracful and tasteless, her husband is a "sell out" and how dare he leave this great black woman for a white girl. Had this been the other way around,the woman would have been praised, " oh girl you want someone who knows how to treat a lady" and the white man she left her husband for is considered an "upgrade" despite the role she played whether infedility took part doesnt matter, why she left or could things be fixed doesn't even matter. Just as men are not slammed for having casual sex partners. I believe that male bashing will never end and it will continue to be a problem. Black men will be categorized as "dogs" and "no good" till the death of them. It is up to each black male to set himself apart from the rest.